So it’s been a long time since I actually posted on this
blog, it will actually be year here in about three months. I really enjoy this
blog even though I have neglected it for so long now. This is the place where I
can put my thoughts and not be judged with how I feel. So I was looking back on
the last post, and I have noticed that I was contemplating whether I had
depression are not, since it’s been so long since I have posted I feel that I
do have depression but I have not seek medical help for its. I mean I have my
good days and then I have my bad days, or should I say I have my good moments
and then I have my bad moments. But it’s all a work of progress I had just
learned to take it day by day, on the bad days I take it minute by minute and
seriously I really mean minute by minute.
This blog is like a diary for me and when I was younger and
I actually have a diary that I would write in I never did it day by day I would
always do periodically just when I felt the need to write my feelings down. So
I was never good at keeping a daily journal like some people, even though I do
like the concept of its I could just never do it daily.
Over the last past year or two years I have just came to the
conclusion that it’s all up to God, and that I was not going to try to plan
another pregnancy. And every month when my period would be a day late I would
run out to the store and buy a pregnancy test, take the pregnancy test and get
a negative results and then get myperiod the very next day. It would be a
roller coaster ride every month I would be late
getting excited and then be disappointed. So here lately in the last
past few months I have been waiting until I would be like about 3 to 5 days
late and then run out and buy a test and again it would be negative and I get
my monthly visitor a day later. So for the month of September I was late and
waited and decided that I would wait until I was about two weeks late before I
would by a test, cause let’s get realistic here pregnancy test are not really
that cheap especially when you’re buying them monthly. I mean I know you can
get the ones at Walmart $.4 but sometimes I just is like running into Walmart
and would run into Walgreens instead and spend about $12 on a test. The middle
of September came and gone and I had forgotten about my monthly visitor it to
the end of September and I said to myselfmaybe I better go buy a test because
my visitors didn’t come. So I had actually waited until October 2 to buy my
test this time and decided to take if it’s late at night when everybody was
sleeping. So now it’s about 1230 in the morning on October 3, 2012 and it’s a
Wednesday I pee in a cup and guess what it comes up positive! I mean I was
elated, I was so excited that I had with Jason up and trust me I never do that
with him working two jobs by the middle of the week he’s been tired. I wake
Jason and I am like so excited and I tell him honey I’m pregnant. Now mind you
I just woke him up so he is a little disorientated, he is like what can I say
you heard that I’m pregnant we’re going to have a baby! He sat up in bed gave
me a hug for like ever, and I think he even started to cry little. I told him
that I wasn’t going to tell anybody that was pregnant and he said that’s fine
with him. But I ended up till my immediate family, but about telling anybody
else will probably wait until I am about 5 to 6 months. I figured it’s okay to
post on my blog because nobody reads this but me.
So I might be back tomorrow or sometime within a week to
documents my feelings my thoughts and my emotions. So until then, bye
